I am Twelve; 0012; the Twelfth edition of your government’s Top Secret Program. I do not know of my origin, nor do I know really anything else about myself other than what I do. I kill; it is what I do best, what I was trained to do.
I escaped not too long ago from the Factory and I am trying to live a normal life, at least what I believe is normal. I do not know if this freedom will be successful. I do not know what I’m doing, nor how to really live other than what I have. I can try, and that is all I can do within these uncharted waters.
Day 1
I’ve came to this place, and I’m not sure why. The piles of rubble have called to me in flashes of dreams. What was this place?
I found this book amongst the rubble and cobwebbed remnants of what used to be a home. The book is charred and decayed, full of dirt and bugs but I can see faint lines of flowers and a name: Victoria.
That name… I have distant memories of ‘Victoria‘. Beautiful blonde hair, sweet pudgy cheeks, and eyes so blue the oceans would be envious. Why do I see her?
I’ve read what is written in this book. I am guessing it was a diary of some sort, full of childhood memories, and innocent thoughts of a seven year old girl.
She loved her… Mommy and Daddy, as she called them. I don’t know who or what these people are -- but it seemed like they loved her back.
What is a mommy? What is a daddy? Why did she love them, and why did they love her? What is love exactly? I’ve never had a mommy, or a daddy, nor have I ever felt or experienced this thing called love.
I could never understand human feelings, thoughts, or behavior. I realize that I was once human but I remember nothing solid of those times in my existence. Should I? Should I try? I was built to kill, built to torture and destroy, among other things. I have no other purpose to exist, no other reason to be.
But this place calls to me like none other. It brings emotions to me I don’t understand, nor do I want to. What is this place? Have I been here before?
I am intrigued. Who was this Victoria and why does her voice, her thoughts, her house beckon me? Perhaps I will need to learn more about this place. About this child. About myself.
My name is Twelve and I will share my thoughts, my intrigue with you… just as Victoria has. I must learn and this will be the record of my journeys and a record of the things I learn. If someone should find this, do not judge me or what I do. Only after reading, may you judge me because then perhaps, you will know me.
Day 2
Love - what is love? What do you feel, think, act, and experience when you in love? Is there many different kinds of love? How many? How do you know when you’re experiencing love? Do you?
Whom do I ask these questions? Who will give me the answers I seek?
In the factory, they never taught us of love, or these new words: compassion and mercy.
Please, have some mercy, I beg you.
What is mercy? And why do humans expect me to have it? Why do they beg? It is pathetic.
Mercy. Compassion. I do not recognize these words. I do not know the meaning or purpose of such things. Mercy and compassion from what I realize, is those cockroaches asking me not to kill them? Why? Don’t they realize it is my purpose? Don’t they understand that I must?
How pathetic, they are? Even as a tiny amount of blood is shed, they beg… they plead.
Please, no! Stop! I beg of you! Have mercy, show compassion! I have a family! I have a child!
Do you really think I care? Do you really think I give two seconds of thought when my eyes lay upon your worthless carcass? They’ve picked you for a reason, and once they’ve told me my orders, you are dead. You just don’t know it or comprehend it at that very moment.
Once my eyes lay upon you, do not waste time or your last breath on words I don’t want to hear. The only things I want to hear are your screams, your bones cracking and shattering, the blood rising up from your veins, drowning the very life from you. I want to hear the exact moment your heart explodes, melts, or simply stops beating and your disgusting voice clouds that sweet, sweet silence I crave.
I have no mercy. I have no compassion. I was built, programmed, wired, and created to do what I do best…
…kill you.
That is my purpose. That is all.
Day 4
Fear -- another human feeling I do not have for my own, but it is one of the few I understand. Humans, they fear many things. I have watched over many the last couple of nights and long nights… and they are more annoying than I thought. They fear everything! How pitiful!
Life, death, and that word -- love. How can an organism live fearing so many things they come into contact with on a daily basis?
Then there are those who call themselves “fearless”. Yet, when I approach, they scream like children or urinate on themselves. They cower. The only aspect of fear I fully understand, is the fear of me.
Once they realize it’s them I am after, their pupils dilate, their blood pressure rises, and their heartbeats quicken. I was built to live off their fear like they live and breathe oxygen.
I understand - they fear me and they should. What goes through a person’s mind when they are afraid? I never knew. I was always too busy enjoying their screams to bother peering into their minds. I wish, just once, there could be one thing… something, I feared. I have no fear, and it is the one human emotion I crave to possess.
Subject: The Factory 
Tue Jul 28, 2009 12:30 am
